Being Nice is Okay.

Salaams. I was reading through my notes from our Seerah class, and I came across the story of Umm Salamah (RA) and Uthman ibn Talha [Abu Talha] (RA).  Umm Salamah (RA) had been separated from her husband and child during the time of the hijrah. Her husband had been forced to go to Medina without her, and her son was taken away from her by her non-Muslim family. She was distraught for a very, very long time. One of her relatives finally convinced her family to let her go, as well as reuniting her with her son. She was about to set off for Medina by herself, when Uthman ibn Talha (RA) met her in the outskirts of Makkah.

When he found out she was going to Medina, he accompanied her for the ENTIRE journey, to make sure she would be okay. After that, Umm Salamah (RA) would say she had never seen a kinder man than Uthman ibn Talha (RA)!

There is more to the story, but later on as I was reading and arrived at the part where Umm Salamah’s (RA) husband passed away, I remember thinking, “Enter Abu Talha (RA)!”

Of course, the story didn’t end that way, it ended with Umm Salamah’s (RA) marriage to Rasulullah (SAW)!

I took away two lessons from this story.

1) Bros…it’s okay to be nice to us. It doesn’t mean a marriage proposal. (Also, smile! It’s sunnah. Don’t ignore us one second just because we’re sisters, and then let us see you give a smile to that non-Muslim classmate because she “doesn’t count.”  It counts.)

This also applies to us sisters as well. I swear, we all be giving each other complexes up in here.

2) Sometimes, a nice guy is just a nice guy. Sometimes, a nice girl is just a nice girl. How many of us are holding out for our Abu Talha’s and Umm Salamah’s, fingers scrabbling disconsolately in the soil of At – Tan’im, when we should dust ourselves off, and open our eyes to something better just over the horizon instead?

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