Expect your child to lose interest in salaah if you lose interest.
Let them know when you’re on your period the reason behind why you are not praying. don’t lie. kids are smart.
Q: Answer: Teach your children the rituals of salaah. Designate a special thawb or jilbab for them. Let them pray Sunnah first. Teach them to make duaa. Let them here you say, “Allahuma faghfirlana” Oh Allah forgive me.
Assign a duaa leader. Take turns, so everyone will learn. Teach them to be patient. Make it a family event. Don’t let them get up immediately. Read from the stories of the companions, Sahih al-Bukhari. Create a family environment, a family ritual.
This is for the young ones. For the teenagers, it is more difficult. Once they hit this age, they become rebellious and stubborn. They see they are bigger and stronger, and when they defy your rules they want to see how much they can get away with. Do your best, as long as they live under your rule, they are under your command.
Make sure they are trained in how to make salaah. If you can’t deal with them personally, have the imams or leaders teach them. By doing so, bring the good. Don’t put lazy kids with good kids, organize by skill level. Kids will learn form other people, not their own family in some cases. The last person who would learn from the Imam is his own family. Why? Your family doesn’t see you as a shaykh. They just see you as a spouse.
When I teach my child the Quran, he gives me a hard time. “You’re not the Shaykh, you’re my father.” Once he stopped me during the khutbah so I could help him put his shoes on. He just sees me as Baba.
During Eid salaah, everyone was all dressed up, I was in the middle of the takbir, he pulled my thobe, asked me something. The kids don’t benefit much from the parents. If you are inconsistent. If you are very well disciplined, then they will take you seriously. If you maintain a good companionship with your children in teen years, they will become better later. Do your best, be honest. You have to be engaged in their life. You can’t just think you did your part by sending them to shaykh. Sometimes they just drop the kids off like it is baby sitting at weekend school. They don’t engage with their kids. As they drive them to the sunday school, they play a DVD. They just want them to keep their mouths shut.
Any questions? ONce the child reaches the age of puberty, they are held accountable. You have no idea the challenges they will face in college. Talk to your kids. Be around them, help them. Make sure you check on them, not to spy or investigate. You did your part when they were young, and when they continue alhamdulillah. If they don’t, you did your best.
Dealing with errors in salaah. We’re gonna finish at 1:15.
How do I fix errors if I make a mistake, forget? We’re going to divide this in two.
- Acts that nullify salaah
- Foreign Speech. Anything not part of salaah. Assisting the Imam, tasbeeh doesn’t count. Don’t converse with the Imam. “You need to go back to rukuh!” This is a long conversation. Some fuquhah say you can say “Rukooh, sujood” to remind the Imam. If you clear your throat with no syllables, some people say this is fine if you don’t insert syllable sounds. Don’t say alhamdulillah when you sneeze. How about speaking in a foreign language. It should not be done in a foreign language except in the sujood, and the end of the slaah for the duaa.
- Eating and Drinking. you can’t sip at water, or eat. You cannot chew anything in salaah, including gum. Some ladies store the gum up there, and you see them chewing gum while making their dhikr. Where did it come from? Sometimes in taraweeh you hear people swallowing the meat that was stuck in their teeth from iftar. This is gross. You should spit it out, to the left side. If there is no one there. Bury it with your foot. If you can’t do that, spit it into your sleeve, and wash it after salaah. I know it is disgusting, but that is what they had to do. Now we can use a tissue. What if I can’t find one? I have to look all over my body. That is fine. If you must, go spit it out, make the salaah over. Can you borrow a napkin sticking out of your neighbor’s pocket? I don’t know if it will be clean, but sure. If someone hands you the napkin, it’s none of their business. Allahu ‘aalam, I don’t know what to say on this. Should we get back (to the topic)
- Continuous foreign acts. When your cellphone is ringing, some people have the worst ringtones, that i never thought in my mind that music would be playing in the masajid. Now we have them. Some people act like it is not mine. They think they will break their salaah if they move, not taking into account the peace of mind of everyone around them. Just before we finished salatul isha, one time there was the worst ringtone, very suggestive language and arabic music. The guy was so embarassed. How could you use this ringtone in the first place, much less bring it in the masjid? As I was giving the advice, the phone rings again. My advice to you, is don’t worry about your phone reflecting your personality, c’mon. just use it for the purpose it was made for: communication. Do not use quran or duaa as a ringtone. What if you were in the bathroom? My advice don’t have a ringtone at all. For the two years I have been using this phone, it does not ring. I keep it on vibrate. Cell phones are the most annoying device man has ever created. You interrupt your life just to see who is calling. If i don’t know the number, I don’t even answer. Because I don’t care, and if he is really serious, he will leave a message. If it is something really important, i will call you back.
- Exposing the ‘awrah’ deliberately. A lady wearing a short arm shirt, a man wearing a tight short shirt. He will go into rukuh and expose his awrah.
- Losing the state of purification. What do you do? Your salaah is lost in the wind. Leave and run for your life. Take the cleaning process again. When you come back, start over.
- najasa. Let us say you feel something wet on your arm while carrying your baby. You stop, change your clothes, start over.
- Laughing. It breaks your salaah. Is this smile laughing? What about this (big smile). Your salaah is still valid. What if you start giggling and bending over? Then it is invalid. If someone laughs in salaah, in one opinion, it breaks the wudhu. Abu Haneefah, very exclusive.
- hesitation regarding intention. You need to have firm intention in the beginning and continue with your salaah
- omitting a rukun w/o turning back. just because you are in a rush doesn’t mean you can skip a rukun.
- racing the imam. don’t jump ahead of the imam. i have seen people, the imam is saying sami alahu liman hamida, and they are already like this, (leans forward) The sahabah never touched down before the imam. Ensure that the imam reaches there first. also, you cannot go too slow. Don’t try to act all spiritual. Try to stay at the pace of the imam.
- Arrival of water for someone who prays with tayammum. Once they say, ‘We have water!” your salaah is invalid. Break your salaah, make wudhu, pray. If the water comes after you finish, no need to repeat salaah
- to give salaam deliberately before end. No can do.
- To return to the middle tashahud after standing up for the third rakaah.
Acts that allow departure of Salah
- Rescue someone in harm’s way. A child, not just if they are running around.
- to protect property. If someone steals your purse, you say, stop theif! Not, Oh subhanallah. Face the direction of your clothes when you bathe.
- If your food is smoking. Stop your salaah. Don’t say, I’m going to die a shaheed.
- An urgent need for the bathroom. The imam starts surah albaqara. Oh my God. Just leave, answer the call, and come back.
- to answer the call of parents (in nafl) Answering parents is more important than your nafl salaah. In your time, try to let your parents know.
Question: Crying in Salaah. The prophet SAW would cry such that you could hear the heaving of his breath. If some people exagerrate with wailing, that is too much. Try to control it. One time there was a guy who was too emotional, crying in a very loud voice, everyone was annoyed. Did not sound authentic. The shaykh had to finish the rakaah early. If you cannot control yourself, please leave and come back was his announcement. Everyone was disturbed. If you are at home, go for it.
Sisters? Yes. (nvm, brother question)
If you start your fard salaah, and a jamaah starts, what do you do? You cannot start your fard salaah before the official start. You stop your salaah and join jamaah for the first jamaah.
Q: If I am cooking, should i leave my food to go pray with the jamaah? You don’t have to, you can pray at a later time if you are a sister.
Q: Can I switch between the two Jama’a? Yes.
Q: If my child hits puberty at 8, are they still accountable? Yes, for salaah. Not financial. They must develop rushd, age of maturity.
Q: Can you recite Qunoot in English? Yes.
Q: Can women who are about to or have given birth shorten their salaah? The ones who have given birth don’t have to pray, and expecting women who find the salaah difficult, can combine. If they find they cannot keep wudhu, they are exempt and can make it up later.
Q: if i give money in charity, will I get it back in this life? If you give for the sake of Allah, don’t expect anything in return except that which Allah gives you back. It may not be cash, it could be blessings, being safe from fitnah or disease. You have a lot of opportunities to receive things back from Allah. Don’t expect a million dollars from 10 dollars. IN chicago we had a fundraising event, and I gave a strong powerful speech about giving, and competing with one another. So one of the girls, 9 years old, she gave all her savings, about $200. She believed she wanted to be like Abu Bakr as Siddiq. SubhanAllah at the end of the same event, she won a huge plasma screen TV. I don’t know ifthis is good or bad, she got a $600 TV. Sometimes, you need to encourage your children to do things like that. One day I got mail during the emergency situation in Gaza, urgent appeal. My son asked me what it was. I came back and saw piles of money. The three of my kids gathered all their money. I gave them each $100. I don’t want them to feel it’s a lie that they won’t get anything back, so I told me wife I would give them each $1000 later. When you give, don’t just expect cash, expect blessings.
Tayb, insha Allah. Messing up in Salaah. (cell phone goes off) Whoever that phone is, remember what I said? Jazakullah khair.
We learned earlier about mistakes that nullify the salah. Now, these things are mistakes, but you need to work something in salaah to fix it. HOw do we fix our salaah? What are some of these mistakes that mandate Sujood as Sawh? If you make a mistake because you forgot, or your mind wandered away. If you do this, u must do Sujuud as Sawh. There are actually three opinions on how to perform it. It is done all the way at the end. You perform two sajdah, it is exactly like every sujood you do in salaah. Like any other regular sujood. You do it in the same format. It is done at the end in a special way. The Prophet (SAW) did it for a few reasons. You forgot that you need to do one more rakaah but you did tashahuud twice in a row. He stood up right away. Or you add what is not from salaah.
Like, you find yourself saying fatiha in the middle of tashahud? It will not nullify. Sometimes in the first rakaah you find yourself reading tashahud when you should be reading fatiha.
To prolong the sitting position between two sajdahs. You forgot you have to go down again. Or if you stood up for a third rakaah in Fajr. It doesn’t matter if you are halfway up, sit down right away when you remember. One of the reasons to make sujood as sawh is when you forget how many raka’ah you made. This is the most common reason.
Prophet SAW: If one of you is doubtful in your salaah, cast off your uncertainty and count it as second rakaah if you are doubtful of 2 or 3. (paraphrased)
If you are doubtful if your fourth rakaah is actually your fourth, complete it as your fourth and make sujood as sawh.
The two formats:
- Abu Haneefah: Once you are done with Tashahud, you give salaam on your right side, 2 times sajdah? then one more time tashahud, and complete your tasleem. The third opinion…I’m confused.
Finish tashahud, give salaah, do your sajdah twice, then give full salaam. IS that clear? This is the strongest opinion.
The first opinion, you do sujood as Sawh before the salaam. Just before you give your salaam, you do your two sajdah.
The second opinion (Abu Haneefah) After tashahud, give salaam to the right side, do SaS twice, then do full salaam.
If you omit anything from the salaah, you do before the salaam. If you added anything extra, so you do sujood as sawh after the salaam. <–This is the third opinion.
Q: If I miss the first rakaah of Jumah, and I forget and complete the last rakaah? Yes, you do SaS. If you are with the Imam, you don’t do SaS, you follow the Imam.
Q: It doesn’t matter, Asr, Maghrib, Fajr. If I forgot something, I do SaS. But what if I forgot SaS? Do I do SaS for SaS? No. What about my salaah? It is still valid.
Next, how do I make up for the expired time? By unanimous agreement, you are obligated to make up for the missed salaah. If you miss Fajr, you must make it up. You don’t go and start from tomorrow, you start from right now. The Messenger of Allah (SAW) said, “Whoever oversleeps, or forget, and then remember later, this person should make it up. There is no expiation except for making it up at that time.” What if I just overslept, even with all the precautions? What do I do in this case. This following is the hadith that you apply in your life. A man came to Rasulullah who said he had a very deep sleep. There is no negligence in sleeping. The negligence is when you are awake. Delaying delaying delaying until the time expires.
Once you remember, or once you wake up. What if I need a cup of coffee? Do I get coffee first, or pray first? What about a shower? Yes, for both. If you need to take another measure to help you perform salaah better, do it. The prophet SAW, he overslept. It was when they were traveling all night and most of the day. When they decided to camp, the Prophet SAW asked, “Who will guard us for Fajr salaah?” Bilal volunteered. Everyone went to sleep, even Rasulullah. This of Bilal’s POV, the majestic desert. It is absolutely majestic and miraculous. So Bilal is going back and forth to keep him from sleeping. So he felt temptation to go to bed. Then he came close to his camel, and said, I’ll just sit down. Like we say, just give me five minutes. So he leans against his warm, fluffy camel, so he closed his eyes, and that was it. The first person to wake up was Omar ibn al-Khattab, he sees the sun, OMG. Such a major sin.
They were like, OMG the messenger of Allah! Wake up, wake up! It’s bright! We’re in big trouble. What to do?
The prophet, they didn’t know if they should wake him up, maybe he is receiving revelation. Omar ibn al-Khattab wakes him up, and he asks, Where is Bilal. Bilal must’ve thought be was in big trouble. He must’ve been so embarassed. He said, “I was overtaken with slumber” There was no punishment, Rasulullah just said, “This is the spot where the shaytaan was, let us move.” So they walked for some distance, they settled down, made wudhu, called adhan, prayed sunnah, made the iqamah, and recited outloud, even though it was bright. And that was it. So all was forgiven. If you miss your salaah, that is how you should be performing your salaah. Qadha is when you do salaah when the time expires.
If the intention is in the heart, it doesn’t matter. You don’t need to say it out.
Q: If someone repents after a long time of not praying, what do they do? Like 20, 30 years? Is this person obligated ? 2 Major opinions.
- Yes. In theory. You are obligated, so you must. but in practicality, you must do estimation.
- The other opinion, which I believe is the strongest. They are not obligated, because if you deliberately wait, without a legal excuse, that is a major sin. You are refusing to bow down. The only thing that can compensate is sincere repentance. You must go and study what is sincere repentance. So you must take every opportunity to perform other salaah.
Q: If someone falls into a coma, for two or three days, they make up. If longer than that, they don’t have to. How do you make it up? With every salaah, pray one or two fard. You don’t have to do it in more than one day.
Which salaah do I start with when I am making up? I missed Zuhr, it is time for Asr. Do I start with Zuhr or Asr? Do I maintain the order? Here is the answer: If there is enough time to maintain the order and sequence, then start with Zuhr. If you have ample time for Asr, go for it. If you delayed Asr ten minutes before sunset, then do Asr first so you don’t end up missing two salaah.
If a group of people all miss Zuhr, then you can make it up in congregation.
What do we learn from this? Alhamdulillah, even in making Ibadah, and you think you are running out of time, don’t ever thing you will never been able to pray on time. Remember that Allah knows you are a human being. It is not the end of the world, just make up and move on. That doesn’t mean you deliberately try to delay or miss. Some people “zip” all their salaah in one file, and at the end of the day they unzip the file.
Some people say, Im better than people who don’t pray at all! Don’t compare yourself to losers. The salah must be done in the same order as it was ordained.
I want from you to stat a group conversation. I hope you all came from these different masajid in this area. We have in our mind complaints about our masajid. I would love if we could discuss the situation of the congregational prayer in the masajid, problems we observe, one from the sisters and one from the brothers. And tell me the reason behind it. Like, “Lot of kids” or “people don’t line up well” Let’s get the top ten.