Just one more day left in the semester. Two exams. I am paralyzed by fear. Could do nothing but snack mindlessly all afternoon and now find myself in a despondent funk. I am in that headspace where I am watching all the dominoes fall one by one in my mind…I’m gonna do poorly on the exam, I’m gonna fail the class, I’m gonna flunk out of school, I’m never going to graduate and get a real job and I’m never going to live somewhere cool like DC again unless I 1) have a good job or 2) get married or 3) a combination of both.
Maybe I’m over-glamorizing DC…lofty visions of working for The Washington Post and riding the Metro and not having time to sit around and get into stupid self-defeating headspaces.
Then there are the cruel winters and I was fat when I was in DC because it was cold for like, half the year. The last time I weighed what I do now I was in the 5th grade. And that ain’t something to sneeze at. It’s funny, now that I’m not obsessing about weight anymore, and have pretty much resigned my life to school, work, and walking all over campus in the blistering heat…the pounds have just melted off.
I can still be glamorous and live in Orlando…er, I can certainly try.